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The rumours of my demise are greatly exaggerated

I had spoken too soon when I suggested that my footballing career had come to a sudden and emotional end.

This week I rolled out the tired and weary bones for one last game and the fairytale was realised. A 'perfect hat-trick' (head, left foot and right foot) in a 3-1 win. We won't talk about the 3 other gilt edged chances that went begging but it was a great way to sign off.

Who knows, after some altitude training in South America and 5 months food poisoning in South East Asia I might return a leaner fitter player and pick up where I left off in a years time. Or, I might get a taste for cheap local beer and have to be lifted off the plane using a special crane. 50-50, it could go either way!!